Everyday seems like a babystep closer to my original self. I don't know what or when it happened, but it's as I'm not myself. It feels like I'm waiting for myself to return from a long vacation. Like I've lost a part of me... and I have no idea when I'll return. I know that change is necessary and a given, but it seems like I've lost myself in the midst of hardship. I still love myself... I just hope that my motivation and determination comes back. Maybe the hardships I overcame this year has taken most of my energy and strength.
I often ask myself, "What happened? Where's the passion? Where's the feeling? Where the love? Where the dedication... where's the love?" It seems like I've put a hold on my career and dreams again. Just when I thought I have passed the crossroads and have a definite path... I've found myself at the fork on the road again. All I know is that I still love it no matter how far away it seems.
No matter what... I know that I'll be back. I know that when I'm completely out of this funk... the force will be even stronger than before. I know where I want to be and how to get there... I know what I want and the sacrifices that come with it. I can't lose hope... I wont give up on my dreams. I'm the only one that will fully believe in myself .. and I'm the only one who can and WILL make my dreams into reality.
